How Not to get Fooled...

“How do you know that?”
“I don't know how. I just know.”
“There should be some reason that you think it like that.”
“There ain't. It's an intuition."  "He was lying. Yes I am sure he was lying.”

Source - http://www.imarklab.com/en/2016/10/pupil-dilation-cognitive-load-usability-testing-innovations/

You too must've faced situations in which you just knew that the person in front of you is lying, but you were unable to explain it. It's like an intuition, of what you felt at the moment, which sometimes guides your major decisions about people.

But does the words like 'intuition' or 'felt' really made for us - the persons of reason? No. I don't think so. As long as it is in our control, we should never base our decisions purely on intuition or gut feeling. If so done, such decisions are highly prone to risks of failure or change or objections by other parties involved. But if you have the right knowledge & alertness you can reason your intuition. You than can than never be fooled or outwitted. The people will even be then less likely to speak a lie to you. For people are less likely to lie when they are afraid of getting being caught. 

So, how to know whether someone is lying or not? Before answering that, let me tell you an interesting phenomenon. In most of the cultures be it Indian or American or Australian or Japanese, lying is taught to be as a sin to the children. No matter how much parents' lie, or those the representatives of the society lies, they always teach their children that truth is better than lying; imbibing it into their subconscious mind - the mind of morality. The other two - conscious mind being guided by reality principle & the unconscious mind being guided by the desires. So when a person lies there is a high conflict between conscious & subconscious mind. Between the need/want to lie & morality to be truthful. Between what is learnt & what was taught. It is this conflict which creates a series of negative body signals apparent to an outside person. However a novice should refrain from jumping to any conclusions as such signals doesn't necessarily mean the person is lying. They mean that there is some conflict in the mind the reason for which can be known by further investigation. Such signals are like words which if seen individually doesn't depicts much, but if seen in a sentence i.e. a context depicts much more insight & meaning.

Now let me get back to the question. How to know when someone is lying?
The golden rule is to look for the palms, eyes and facial muscles of the person. Anything done just before, during or just after speaking something should be watched closely.

A well-developed hands is the biggest gift that humans have from evolution. It is the most significant & most powerful part in the body. Very few people know that after face, palms are the real expressions of mind. So when someone lies there is almost always an abrupt movement by palms that tells the truth of the person. This movement maybe an immediate hiding of palms in the pockets or behind waist or under the table; inter-locking the fingers tight; repeatedly touching or pulling your collar; scratching neck, nose, cheek, earlobe or edge of the eye; hiding mouth. One of my friend always used to put his hands in his pockets just before telling a lie, until I told him that how his lie is always being detected.

Source - https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/fold-your-hand-interlock-your-fingers-lace-your-fingers.3368383/

https://studiotrevisani.it/2017/09/07/tacco-12-in-borsa-e-cravatte-odiose-destate-passerelle-e-patologie-dellhomo-aziendalis/

https://paymanpsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AF%D9%86-3%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D9%88%D8%B4.jpg

The most powerful part of the body - the eyes are the best indicators of truth. A research proved that when a person speaks which in his knowledge isn't true there is a rapid dilation & contraction in the pupils of that person. The skilled criminologists often study the pupils of the criminals to know that whether his story is truth or a work of fiction. What else? Have you heard the saying that people look away when they lie? It's half the truth. People do look away when they lie, but sometimes they will stare you hard while lying, so to make you believe that they aren't lying. In the case of eyes any action done which is too less or too much should come under scrutiny - staring or looking away, over blinking or not blinking, too high a change in the size of pupil. The bigger is the lie & more is the person out of practice of lying, more provident will be the signals.

But there are some subtle cues too which often went unnoticed. I was once trying on a girl during my late adolescent years. She was bragging about how happy she is with the man of her choice. At the moment she was so convincing & confident that anyone would have believed her. But then I noticed something strange about her. During the previous whole conversation her head & body both were pointing towards me. But when she was boasting of her relationship with the man her head was peculiarly lifted away from me. On the subconscious level she was trying to look away, to avoid an eye contact but on the conscious level she felt the need to convince, hence the posture. I now believe that the sideways looking by a person during a conversation is an ideal representation of the conflict in mind. The eye being hidden away represents the pulling back subconscious mind of morality, while the eye in view represents the pushing forward conscious mind of reality. However what also matters is that who is speaking. Many of the above signals may also mean that the person in front thinks that you are lying, if they adopt them when you are speaking.

There is also more gulps of saliva & licking of lips by a person when he lies; for a dry mouth is the result of nervousness. The tone of voice can also reveal the truth of a person. A man speaking with a trembling voice, or with long gaps in between (due to deep breaths) has more chances of being considered a liar than the one with uninterrupted, firm speech. The words spoken per minute also matters. A friend of mine when lied, was even used to get caught in a telephonic conversation as she always used to speak more words per minute than her general usage when she lie or was highly nervous.

Source - http://listcrown.com/10-ways-how-you-can-find-out-if-a-person-is-lying/
https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vectors/licking-lips-vectors

However there are some strategical cues too. While doing sales in a company, after being rejected by a customer we used to ask him the reason for not buying. We were being taught to pay attention to the time they take to think for the reason. If they take a pause more than 5 seconds than most probably they were lying, as the truth comes naturally. One don't need the time to create a story if it's already in existence. And yet another strategical cue is that "if it's bragging, it's not true". If someone goes out of the way to explain his truthfulness and speak on the details without being asked to do so than either he is too anxious to prove or he is lying. The conclusions based on this cue must be made keeping in mind the general personality of the person speaking & that of the one listening. 

Now after having all the above knowledge, you will say that you will now have a control on these cues, while lying the next time and you won't be caught. The answer is that you still will be. There are some involuntary cues too that takes up the stand when the voluntary muscles are controlled. Twitching in facial muscles or lips, reddening of cheeks or ears, whitening of lips, perspiring, trembling of hands are to mention a few. 

So? How to speak a perfect lie? First of all, lying ain't a good strategy. Because once you are caught, your further true words will have more chances of being considered a lie. A lie also further gives birth to other lies, in order to prove it a truth. So being truthful & honest is the best strategy. But if it is for survival & no other strategy would work than it should be first lived unto. It has been found that patients with mental disorders like delusion shows no sign of untruth in their body language as they are themselves convinced of their own false beliefs. So if you believe what you speak, there won't be a conflict in the mind. Without a conflict there won't be a negative cue. Also lies spoken close to the truth have better chances of not getting caught than the ones farther from it.

But what strategy to use when you have known or doubt that the person in front of you is lying. One is to "ask for details". It is often used by managers on their employees. If they suspect that their employee is fabricating a story on some matter, they quickly ask for the details of it. If someone speaks the truth, he must know every detail of it. These details can further be cross-checked from other resources. One another strategy, so often not happily welcomed is, "to blame". If you blame someone for lying than under most circumstances he will be tempted to prove himself. The words & evidence than used by him can again be cross-checked. Moreover, if you blame a liar for lying & he is not prepared for it, he may lose control over his body cues which then will readily expose him. Making a liar feel uncomfortable through speech or through your gestures, like scanning him from top to bottom & then focussing on his genitals or looking away or making gestures & postures of unacceptance, may also work.

However again I would suggest to not to straight away jump to any conclusions. Such signals mean that there is some conflict in the mind of the person – either he is lying, or is doubtful of what he says, or is afraid of the consequences of his speech, or he thinks that you think that he is lying or is an anxious man in general. Hence, every cue must be treated like a single word which won’t have a meaning unless & until viewed in a full context & along with other cues.